with your own penis?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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