Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
