I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
