you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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