Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm like, not good at living.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
