I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
