So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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