i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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