I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
