Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
