apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
