Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
