She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How does it feel to date your dad?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
