I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
