Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize