i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize