Don't you send me to vm
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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