dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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