but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize