I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
