How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
