while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
