Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When are your genitals available?
Dick very happy bro
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
