Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
