ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
