Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
