Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
