he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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