But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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