apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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