I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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