I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
