Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
