so explain again why im purple
no
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
