my vag is so smooth its legendary
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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