I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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