I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize