This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
