do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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