guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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