I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
