That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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