i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
