So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
