playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
