I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize