First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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