he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
