i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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