Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
