Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
