you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
