Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
