the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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