TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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