TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
