Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
