HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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