even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize