Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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