i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
