I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just cropdusted the office
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
