Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
