the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
