Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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