How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
