just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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