I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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