4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I looked at my own cervix.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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