The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
